He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
