Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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