she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
