So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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