i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
