we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
