He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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