If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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