You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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