I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
