I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
