Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
