my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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