Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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