Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
