So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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