Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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