its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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