how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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