And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
