escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
