god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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