Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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