it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
