Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
