I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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