Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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