I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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