they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I checked into jail on foursquare
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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