I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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