Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
