I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
