I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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