'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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