Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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