I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
thus making me awesome and them whores
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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