My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
