ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
