You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
