She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
