I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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