How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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