I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
