why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
