i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
