I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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