He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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