So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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