how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
this just has baby written all over it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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