2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Drunk is a universal language darling
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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