capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
