I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
