WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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