ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Randomize
