the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
