"it" just moved
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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