This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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