Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
