i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize