he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
