How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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