I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
