i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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