Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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