Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize