just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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