He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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